No Fish Today

This trip was supposed to be in Althea but she's in need of a new prop shaft so I didn't risk a very serious accident and left her at home. She has a new clutch now and is back home waiting for me to take the old prop shaft off and take it to Feltham to be copied. Then I can drive her to John in Norfolk to get the fuel pump fixed and the clutch cable sorted then fingers crossed that should be it for major works for a while.

I managed to get so much stuff into my little MX5 that people on the campsite commented as they went by.
"Are you going to get all that into that little car?" they asked,

"It takes all day but yes, I'm very good at Tetris," I replied, which is a lie. I'm crap at tetris but I am very good at packing. There must be a name for the skill of being able to fit shapes together and have a good idea of what will tessellate with what in 3D.

It has been a lovely couple of days but alas no fish. My crab pot was extremely successful, I put a little bacon in the bait bit and chucked it into the water the night before. In the morning it was alive with worried little crabs. But none of them were peelers and after a very traumatic experience killing one of the crabs to use as bait I decided to release the rest. It was a great feeling watching 20 little brown crabs head for the water and freedom. I wonder if the one I killed is being sung about in crab folk songs now or being worshipped as a saviour in the beginnings of a crab religion that will eventually become huge and cause a crab world war, or at least some crabby crusades.



I fished a few spots but with not so much as a bite. I did see one lovely big Bass showing off his silver sides but by the time I had got my lure in the water he was gone. I made a note of his face and vowed to get him next time. Fishing is so pleasant it can be quite removed from catching fish. I sometimes think catching fish and fishing can be in many ways completely removed from each other. They were this weekend that's a fact.


There was the old captain across the way with his captain's hat looking like Popeye's dad who grunted and smiled a few times, making the "drinking" hand gesture every time I looked over at him. There were the "two or three families together" with the two teenage girls who I did start to think were tethered to each other in some way as they were never more than 2 feet apart and seemed only to have pyjamas to wear. There were a couple of young girls who came back from a walk by the river caked in mud from head to toe and were sneaked into the showers by one of their mums " quick before your dad sees you".

I had to laugh out loud when Oscar the three year old worked out that the plastic cricket bat when applied to uncle's ankles was much more fun than when used to miss the ball.

I got chatting to Keith and Karen in the tent next to mine when I saw he had fishing rods too. Before long we were fishing together and later we got pretty drunk together and fed the mosquitos late into the night.He told me about how he'd managed to be in the army at exactly the right time to miss any active service and she told me all about how different cocaine producing countries have different methods for wrapping it up to be ingested for smuggling purposes, nobody uses condoms apparently that's a fallacy (wink wink). We shared our love for drug and bomb dogs and she told me all about money and food dogs too.Yes there are dogs that are trained to sniff out money. I want one of those.I wonder if a dog could be trained to sniff out parts for old ambulances.

I gave Keith my email address and we agreed to exchange fishing news and get together for some more focused fishing.I showed them a photo of Althea and they were both under her spell. Keith said "I thought when you said old ambulance it was going to be a bit crappy but that's a beautiful thing you have there, much nicer than a VW by a long way", he can come again ;-)

Tubular Bells

So she now has a new clutch. It took the garage 12 hours to get the old one out and they had to cut a bit of the chassis out to do it. The universal joints on the propshaft are holding on by the skin of their little metal teeth (thanks to Chris and Mucker not greasing them) which is why when I change gear there's a lovely bell like clanggggg. I'll have to get a new propshaft made. In the meantime Althea will sit and wait. I've found a place where I can get one made but it will take a while to get the old one there so they can copy it.

I will have to get the clutch cable fixed too. Thanks to Chris and Mucker (another corner cut boys) the clutch was never set up right which is why it wore the way it did.

Fish Fingers Crossed

I just got a call to say that she's on the low loader on her way to the garage. The next 36 hours will be difficult. If it's just the clutch I should have her back by Friday and we'll be off fishing for the weekend.

Troubles I got!!!

So I'm going to go a bit out of order here and blog what's just happened instead of keeping things in chronological order. I should really be telling you about the fun we had at Glastonwick last week but having had the drive I've just had you'll see why I'm writing this instead.

I have been toying with a few ideas about why she's been behaving the way she has and this morning I put on my scruffs and had a good poke around underneath. It was clear that the fuel leak was finding its way into the clutch and causing it to slip (diesel is very slippy stuff and clutches are all about friction innit!)

I came up with an ingenious design to fix the problem for a couple of weeks until I can get her to John (the guy who fixed Donna). It involved a few strips of cloth tied in the right places to soak up the leaking fuel and drip it away from the clutch.

It worked a treat. I set off to Ipswich to collect the pair of 1920s deck chairs I had bought on eBay. The journey there (91 miles) was a real treat (mostly). I got a real feel for what she'd be like with good traction and positive gears. So what if she shook a bit at 70 mph , she was only designed to do 55 anyway. She hauled ass up the hills and took the corners very confidently. It was delightful.

I even enjoyed the 1 hour delay on the A12 while we waited for the emergency services to clean up an accident. I used my iPhone to find an internet radio station dedicated to traffic reports to find out what the delay was. Then sat back and enjoyed the rest.

Note the people walking on the motorway to see what was wrong. It wasn't long before they were running back to their cars as the traffic got going again.


BUT!!!!!!!

A few miles from the destination she started sounding a bit odd. Engine braking sounded like a bowling ball hitting the skittles and there was the occasional puff of smoke from the gear stick which was getting hot enough to melt the carpet.

I did stop a couple of times and have a look but what the hell could I do?

I collected the chairs and parked up in a layby surrounded by lush green English fields and cooked myself sausage and egg for lunch which I ate sitting in one of the newly acquired chairs. It was idyllic and what owning a campervan is all about to me. I could quite comfortably have stayed there the night. It was such a pleasure to just chuck a couple of bits of food in the back and know that everything else I needed was already on board.



So after food and a rest I set off again. In no time she was making her new noises and back to her old ways of dragging slowly up not very steep hills.

We managed to limp most of the way home but with only 23 miles to go I went to change gear and CLUNK!

I knew giving her hazard lights was going to be useful one day. It was so tempting to lay down in the back and have a nap while waiting.

40 minutes later I was guiding Althea onto the back of an AA low loader. Upgrading my account was a wise idea. She's sitting in her space now waiting for me to arrange her repairs. I would love to have John Warden work on her as I trust him and know he would do a good job but he's in Norfolk. So the search begins tomorrow to find a garage to do the job.
Up she goes. Thank you very nice man.


Home at last. We had fun getting her off the truck. As she reached equilibrium with her front wheels still on the truck. Even tipping it as high as it would go made no difference. We pushed and I jumped in and hit the breaks before she rolled back on.

Fashion...Turn to the left

With just the bass bin and a couple of pairs of speakers on board we headed off to Norfolk again. Althea is getting very sluggish now and I'm starting to worry that she'll stop altogether soon. I'm sure it's more than just the fuel pump now and am starting to wonder about the clutch. Maybe fuel is finding its way into the clutch and causing it to slip? Maybe it's just worn or needs adjusting somehow. I resolve to get her looked at and put it off no longer. She's got hardly any weight on board. Even fully loaded her Transit van engine shouldn't be struggling like this. We are slowing to 35mph on not very steep hills. it seems worse on long climbs which is why I am starting to think it might be fuel causing the slippage. The engine races but she just doesn't move any faster.

Apart from that it was a pretty uneventful journey to the Poole household. We had drinks and music and a few guests arrived to stay the night for the party the next day. Eleanor and I discussed a playlist, I uploaded a few tracks from her CDs and we all watched the Britain's Got Talent final together.

Next day at 1pm Dave Rainbow and I got access to the little village hall where the fashion show themed party will be. After I worked out that there was nothing wrong with the PA apart from the fact that I had plugged one side into the sub bass output which was why it had no top end, the setup went smoothly. Dave rigged his lights including my new laser cluster toy and we waited for the kids to arrive.

A guy called Campbell did an ad-lib fashion guru act and the kids loved it. I played everything on Eleanor's list and had a great time keeping the kids dancing for a couple of hours. The fashion show itself was a huge hit and just about everyone had a go walking up and down the catwalk.

Ed's older brother Simon turned up with his two newly adopted daughters which was quite a nice surprise too. Ed and he haven't been talking for a while. I haven't seen him for over 25 years either.

The whole village is talking about the party now I'm told.

Happy birthday Eleanor.

Mods, Rockers and Sea Shantys

I loaded most of the PA system , my guitar amplifier, a couple of tents and a heap of other stuff into Althea and headed off to Watford to pick up Ocelot's guitars and amps and my drums. Thanks to bank holiday traffic on the M25 it took 4 hours to do a 1.5 hour journey. I set off back down the M25 and into the traffic again and got to Mersea Island 8 hours after leaving home. Althea is heavy and sluggish at the best of times but when she's carrying an extra ton and a half of gear she's understandably a lot slower and harder to handle. She did extremely well and though slow at times she was great.

While there was still light I set up the PA in the entertainments tent and the separate PA for announcements. My friend Bev who organized the whole thing said there was a wedding reception that evening so I popped over to the other side of the island and by about 9 0' clock we hit the party.

I stood in the entrance watching the scene, aware that my mouth was trying to smile and be agog at the same time. This had to be the funniest, weirdest party I had ever seen. The best thing about it was how naturaly silly it was and not a bit forced or pretentious.

Because it was held on a muddy beach and half the guests had arrived by boat, a lot of the guests were in wellies or waders. The bride wore hotpants and the groom wore a DJ with wellies. The food was a table piled high with french bread, cheese and sausages. Another table was piled high with strawberries and cream and empty champagne bottles.

The band were a Liverpuddlian Irish band who were all a bit drunk too. Milo (the local Jack Russel who lives in everyone's house) made an appearance. I offered him a sausage which he politely took and then discarded.

There were people in tweed suits playing concertinas, a couple of teenagers drunk on vodka. A woman dressed in a sari was chatting to a pirate. It was bizarre and lovely. All I could find to drink was gin and tonic and a pint glass to drink it from....Bad idea.

I woke up safe in my ambulance with a french stick in the bed and a box of strawberries teetering. I also discovered I had a sore head and a craving for bacon and eggs which Bev supplied shortly afterward.

The festival was a huge success. We had hoped for maybe 3000 people over the weekend and got more than that on the first day. My day started with small local children's song and dance groups then onto singers and bands in the evening to finish. The PA performed well, the spice girls comedy act was a huge hit. Ocelot (the band I play drums in) wasn't that big a hit (laughs).
After Ocelot had finished a guy who had been taking phpotos came up and introduced himself and I, thinking he was a musician performing later, wasn't very surprised or impressed. When he looked dissapointed I was confused and had to ask why.
It turned out that he wasn't a musician at all but a friend from Second Life who had driven hundreds of miles to meet us. Oops. He was OK when I explained.

In the evening we planned to have a barbecue on the beach but it turned out to be a mass of concrete and mud where we were so opted for a whip round to buy tickets to the Rock and Soul festival next door. After a few jibes with security about Mods and Rockers sharing a festival and a short wait for bev and jilly to fetch food and portable barbecue we set up camp. It turned out to have been a great move. The festival was fantastic, the food was great, we saw bands we loved , we all fell in love with the girl who played keyboards in The Staggers and when the tide came in it was so close I fell asleep to the sound of waves a few feet away. Toby and the band stayed up all night dancing to Northern Soul.

Next day they all zombied around waiting for Kris with their lift home while I managed to run the entertainments tent for another day.

Bass bins, birds, babies, boats, bikes, bubbles and buddies

I've known Ed for about 33 years now. We have one of those enduring friendships that can quite safely take a few years off and there not be a problem. We have a lot of really crucial things in common and a few really crucial differences too. He lives in one of a row of three houses in the middle of nowhere in Norfolk with his four delightful children and their mum Henrietta. At the end of his huge garden lives Graham in a couple of old caravans and next door lives John with his wife and their two kids. In the field opposite, this year, is barley and to the side are some rare sheep and their newborn lambs. A few hundred yards down the lane is a house with dozens of cats and a sign that says "slow cats in road"

I loaded the whole sound system into Althea and chucked my bicycle on the top on Friday night. We took about 4 hours to do a 2 hour journey but it was fun. By avoiding delays we went through the Dartford Tunnel where the man on the toll gate let us through for the price of a bike saying "go on seeing as it's such a nice old vehicle".

On the way we stopped for fuel and a bloke driving a huge 4x4 with a huge boat on a trailer (worth about £250,000 all together I reckon) stopped me in the service station and asked "is that yours?"

"yep"

"it's brilliant! absolutely brilliant!"

I said "yes she is isn't she."


She was struggling a little here and there with the weight of the PA and generator but on the whole we had a good journey. The best part was the last few miles along the narrow and winding lanes. She seemed to love the challenge and being brushed by trees as she navigated her way along them.

In the morning I unloaded the PA, set it up and did the tests I needed to do. Xander (Alexander) the 2.5 year old who holds the Guinness world record for question asking and is in training to break that! I counted 120 questions a minute at one time. "What's that? What does that do? Who's that? Is that yours? What's it called? Where does it go? etc etc ...fell in love with Althea first and in no time had worked out how to open her doors and that the big red button I had told him not to press was well worth pressing (yes I know....)

This bit could go on for ever but suffice it to say that all the kids and their parents soon fell for with my old green van. The photos tell the story better than I ever will.

I really enjoyed sleeping and waking up in her. The local wildlife comes really close and in the early morning it's such a delight to wake up that way.

On the Monday I drove to Sandringham to join Hen and her sister and cousin with the kids and Denzil the huge Labradoodle. Noah(9) and Eleanor (11) rode in the back with their bikes. We didn't get lost but there were a couple of times when they asked where we were. " I don't know but the sat-nav says we are OK" was the reply.

On the way a couple of doves flew in front of us for a few hundred yards then along side us for about 2 miles as we drove along narrow lanes between fields of bright yellow rape seed flowers. It was stunning.

Eleanor said there were three of them at first but one hit a tree ....

Monday came and I headed home via Soham where I had arranged to pick up a couple of original front seats from an ad I'd found on eBay.

Claire's dad who met me told me she'd not only got an LD ambulance called...wait for it...Alfie...but had just come back from Ghana (where I was born folks) but that the MX5 in the drive was hers too... What a world... I bagged the seats and a couple of sun visors and after a lovely LD chat with her dad headed home.