Althea blocks the road and gets towed

Althea Comes Home

Yes folks that's right she's home!!

On Saturday morning last week I filled myself up with paracetamol and throat sweets and took the train to Bridgend then a taxi to the garage where Althea had been having her brakes and king pins fixed. I borrowed some tools and fixed the indicators and wipers and the man gave me an MOT certificate. I took this and the insurance documents (which I had nearly forgotten) down to the village post office and watched with delight as the lady filled in "nil" as the amount paid, confirming Althea's tax exempt status.

After seven months, three engines, two tow trucks, two bikers, five trips to South Wales, one broken down car, £1500 plus and umpteen hours on the phone and internet. I was ready to bring her home.

I thanked the guys at the garage and jumped in. I drove her about 300 yards to The Bus and Truck Company where I bought another battery and some replacement mirrors. I attached the power supply for my sat-nav to the new spare battery and was somewhat surprised to find that in this case red was negative. This was confirmed by the little wisp of blue smoke coming from the back. So without sat-nav or a map I trusted to the British road sign system and my memory (neither of which I would bank on normally) and set off with the intention to fill up at the first service station I reached.

About 10 minutes and less than a mile later I was standing on the verge at Junction 37 of the M4 calling the police. Althea was doing her best not to completely block the road. Diesel engines aren't like petrol engines when they run dry. They need to be primed which is easy when you know how. But I didn't know how. A couple of young coppers in a van took me to get fuel but it didn't help. Another policeman arrived and stayed with me until the tow truck came. There was a whole episode involving 5 AA telephone people and a supervisor over the fact that I was being forced to pay a company the AA use for towing me when I have full AA cover and the comapany they had called had got lost. Another short lesson in reason, logic and customer relations was called for and did the trick.

Althea was hoisted onto the back of the tow truck and we were dropped off at Sarn Services (see photos) About 40 minutes and one burger later an AA repair man came along and had her started within minutes. I filled her up and headed out of the services.

It soon became apparent that though capable of much higher speeds, at anything above about 65 mph she becomes very hard to handle. I couldn't be sure about these speeds but later when I tested it with my GPS my guesses were right. We'd done about 150 miles when I found the dip switch for the headlights. We'd almost reached Maidstone before I was certain we were heading the wrong way. I stopped a few times to stretch my legs, get the ringing out of my ears and top up the fuel. The steering wheel and driver's seat need to be changed. At the moment my left leg is wedged between the wheel and the engine cover and the seat is extremely uncomfortable. There's no heater so it's cold in the cab. The sound proofing is largely missing so it's very noisy in there too. Every time I stop someone will ask about her. On the motorway cars and trucks were slowing as the passed to have a look. She has so many different sounds and "ways" about her I felt like DR Who with my very own Tardis.

Exactly 12 hours after leaving home I arrived back.

Althea hadn't faltered once apart from running out of fuel at the start and that was my fault not hers. I was confident enough to take her out again the next day on another long trip. So after topping up the water and giving her a good clean out I set off again. This time with an inverter converting the spare battery to mains so I could run my sat nav and with my GPS for a speedometer.

I filled her up with fuel at a nearby petrol station and leaving the fuel cap on the pump I drove to Norfolk. When I arrived at my destination in the middle of nowhere (near Little Snoring Airfield) it started snowing very heavily. I picked up the stuff I was collecting and set off home stopping briefly to take the photo. The sat-nav though working, had no idea where we were and kept telling me to "take a sharp left" into a field. My phone had died and it occurred to me that if Althea gave up I would be in serious trouble. Even though we were very close to where Donna is parked and where my oldest friend Ed and his family live I decided to head straight home. It was freezing and the snow was piling up and I was lost in a 40 year old ambulance with no heating and no phone. I was glad I had made a flask of tea.

Once again Althea was unshakable. She almost seemed to be enjoying the snow. I think the slippy surface making the steering easier made it feel smoother. The snow ended and the roads became less icy in no time at all. Being cold and fibreglass the snow stuck to her all the way home. When I stopped to fill up a woman asked me where I'd been. It did look a bit odd having three inches of snow on this battered old ambulance while all the other vehicles were new and dry and shiny. I should have looked bewildered and hinted at being abducted by aliens in the 60s but of course I only think of these things after the event.

It was here I realised I had no fuel filler cap and had to buy an emergency one which was too small, and gaffer tape it on. I had almost run dry again. I do apologise to anyone who may have slipped on my spilled diesel.

250 Miles and 8 hours later, still covered in snow I pulled into the petrol station where I'd left my filler cap and retrieved it, much to the delight of a woman filling up her car.

A ha'peth of rubber

Like on those far too common reality contest shows where this week's loser has to wait that extra ten seconds to hear their name. I just have to wait until tomorrow morning now to hear if the small rubber hose that will complete Althea in the eyes of the MOT tester, has arrived. I don't know why but I quite like the fact that after all the hassles, 4 engines and so many extra weeks it has now come down to the size and type of thread on the end of a bit of hose. One arrived yesterday but it was the wrong type.

There's no reason why the next installment shouldn't be the one telling you all about the 202 mile drive home. Hopefully with photos of Althea at the service station or on the road and the two of us making daisy chains in a sunny meadow. But I am quite prepared for there to be photos of her being hoisted onto the back of a recovery vehicle or having her fifteen minutes of fame by blocking the M25.

I need to buy a three pole three way toggle switch and a car battery to cigarette lighter connector. I must remember to pack my gps (for speedo) and sat nav. Also tools and blankets just in case.

Watch this space camperfans.

Althea goes to the garage

This afternoon Chris is delivering her to a garage in Pyle where she'll get her brakes and king pins fixed. Hopefully this should take a couple of weeks at the most but it depends on how long it will take to repair the old or fabricate new king pins. After that there's no reason why she'll fail her MOT and I should be collecting her and bringing her home. Fingers crossed folks we're nearly there.

One step closer

At 18:45 on Friday evening I jumped aboard the Swansea train from Paddington. As soon as it started moving sat down in a seat that was reserved from London but had nobody in it, and waited for the inspector to come along and sell me a ticket. Two and a half hours later I arrived at Bridgend and got off, still without having been sold a ticket. RESULT! I saved £59 thanks to the lack of an inspector.

I took a cab to Mucker's house, dropped off my stuff and went out to get beers.

In the morning he took me on the back of his bike to Chris's place and Althea. It was the first time I've been on a motorbike in over 20 years and though he rode carefully and slowly I still hate riding pillion especially going round corners. Not enough wheels on motorbikes.

I woke Chris up and we discovered that the battery was flat and not taking a charge very well. My car had been dropped off at his house after being repaired (see two entries ago). However when I put the key in the door it was twisted and cracked so I popped across the road to the garage and after a short lesson in logic, reason and good business practice they agreed to send a boy into town to get me a new key cut. I took their courtesy car and we went to buy a battery. Chris took me to the place where he'd bought the exhaust parts and we got one for over £100 less than it would have been at Halfords. RESULT!

We put the wing mirrors on (not without some last minute "why wasn't this done ages ago" from me). Chris climbed into the back and I very carefully and gingerly inched Althea through the gates and down the lane onto the road. For the first time I was driving her on the road and it was GREAT! The brakes are deadly, the clutch takes three strong men to depress it fully and the steering is like dragging a bag of coal up a ladder. The seat is too high and too far forward so my left knee is wedged against the wheel and the engine hood. The engine is in the Cab remember so the noise is pretty bad too. The indicators are on a large wobbly flappy switch and the window wash is two pathetic little fountains that bubble up a bit in front of the screen. When she's moving the gears are very difficult to change and bits did drop off inside as we went along. There was a popping sparking sound too which we couldn't trace. When we got into 4th gear and started climbing a hill I noticed so much thick white smoke coming from the exhaust that everything behind us was invisible for about 2 miles but it soon cleared up. Chris said this is because the engine has been standing for a while.

Almost straight away other road users and pedestrians started looking, smiling and even waving. Hardly anyone we passed didn't react in a positive way. Althea's charm was working its magic on everyone as I had suspected she might. When we got to the garage the MOT guys jaw dropped. "What the *!ck is that?!" he said. At first he was genuinely shocked but once we'd established that she'd fit on the rolling road he set about her with his list of tests and we headed off to the Cafe.

When we got back he was just discovering that the King pins were worn and that means a fail. He showed us a worn brake pipe and a couple of minor electrical faults. The brakes weren't perfect but that's all. He remarked that she is in much better shape than he expected and we discovered that the tyres are of the same kind of strength that the military use.

When the garage boss came on the scene he was quite visibly delighted. I even saw him give her a friendly pat. He was clearly enjoying having my lovely ambulance in his garage. We arranged for him to look at what needs doing to get her through the test and I left him and his boys to their fish 'n' chips.

The indicators had died during the test so we drove her back to her field with hand signals.

I'll go back in a couple of weeks and drive her home.

Though disappointed I'm not surprised she didn't pass and am happy that she failed on something that would only show up under proper test conditions. Driving her was very exciting and I've definitely got the bug for driving something that makes people happy to see it go by. Yes a super car is a lovely thing but I reckon the kind of pleasure I get from my shabby old ambulance is worth ten times the ego thrill of a Ferrari any day. (but I wouldn't say no to one if anyone wants to donate).

So I came home in the MX5 which after driving Althea felt like a skateboard made of feathers.

Althea is booked in for her MOT

She goes in on Saturday morning. We're confident she wont fail on anything major. Let's see what happens.

Another lump bites the dust

The last time but one that I drove down to see Althea, I hit a two hour traffic jam just as I came out of the toll booths on the M4. As I reached the same place on Saturday I was pleased to see the traffic flowing freely so I relaxed, comforted by the fact that I was going to be there in plenty of time. Just then my car died. My little Mazda MX5 had just enough momentum to get me across the carriageway onto the hard shoulder. Luckily it was a lovely day so I took the advice of the policeman who arrived in less than a minute and stood on the other side of the barrier while I waited for the AA and enjoyed the sunshine. The man arrived, turned the key and announced that my cam belt had broken. I had been led to believe , as I'm sure most people do, that a cam belt has about 30,000 miles in it. This one however lasted about 3,000. The man who towed me off the motorway said most of his work comes from broken cam belts and that they can go at any time at all. Luckily my car isn't one of those that suffers all kinds of piston damage when this happens. It is however one of those that has to be taken almost completely apart to replace it. So she's now sitting on the raod waiting for me to arrange having her picked up and repaired. There is a garage accross the road so with a little bit of luck they will be able to do it.

Now to Althea.

When I arrived Mucker and Chris were both up to their elbows in her and Chris shouted from inside the cab, "What time do you call this? We start work at nine o' clock round here!"
This I thought rich coming from someone who never gets up before midday.

I told them about the break down and then Mucker offerred me the good news or bad news choice.

The bad news was that the engine had siezed (this was number three while I've owned her) and had been replaced. The good news was that the new one had slotted straight in and was running like a dream. They had even moved her under her own steam and when they turned it over it did indeed sound like a healthy engine.

We had to move her back away from the gate, so sitting on an old TV set with my knees either side of the steering wheel I turned the key and fired her up. Very slowed and nervously I eased off the clutch and she started to move. A few jerks and a wheel spin later I had reversed her up the field and driven her back to her resting place. It felt fantastic! I'm looking forward now to having a seat and a floor next time I get to drive her. The steering is more like a tug of war and the clutch is more like a trigger but these are things that I'll get used to.

We got most of the wiring done and worked out what was wrong with the rest of it. We changed the oil and the oil filter. The floor is nearly done and she's going in for her MOT this week all being well.